


he who could not save me may still himself be saved

by ernyx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, I rewrote the ending a bunch of times, Implied/Referenced Character Death, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Major Character Injury, Sam Wilson Feels, Sam and Rhodey centric, Sam carries "Riley's ghost" in his mind, and I tried to write it out but it sounded clunky, even though it isn't directly mentioned here, implied PTSD, it's Riley's death which is canon, so just know that Sam hears Riley's voice sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27641528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ernyx/pseuds/ernyx
Summary: He needed to know. He needed to know that the man was okay. He needed to know because seeing him fall had been like watching Riley plummet to his death all over again.-2am plotbunny for Sam's reaction to Rhodey's injury at the end of CA:CW
Kudos: 2





	he who could not save me may still himself be saved

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Disclaimer that this was written at half past two in the morning, I haven't even reread it in its entirety but it's the first thing I've been motivated to write in MONTHS so here it is, mediocre quality and all. Thanks for stopping by. <3

Sam paced back and forth restlessly in a hospital corridor. It was reckless to be here, he’d probably get thrown in jail as soon as someone spotted him, and his sunglasses and beanie weren’t really doing him any favors in remaining inconspicuous. At most, it would keep him off facial recognition for a few minutes, maybe just enough to run, but... 

He needed to know.

He needed to know that the man was okay. He needed to know because seeing him fall had been like watching Riley plummet to his death all over again. All those years ago, he’d lost his best friend, and this-- well, it wasn’t like he and Rhodey had been friends, but the image burned in his mind, the sound of that sickening _crunch_ … he kept seeing it and hearing it in his sleep.

Rhodey had been in a medically induced coma for three days. One of Sam’s friends from the VA support group worked here and had been quietly passing along information on his recovery. HIPAA violation? Yes. But the friend wasn’t a doctor, and only told Sam as much as she casually overheard while cleaning the ward anyway, and this was how Sam had come to know that Rhodey would probably be waking up today.

It would be a tiny window of opportunity. He’d dash in, apologize, and then run like the devil was on his heels. 

Which it kind of was, in the form of one Tony Stark, who had not left Rhodey’s bedside except to shower and pick up food from the cafeteria downstairs. He’d learned long ago that they were the definition of ride-or-die friends, and apparently this had come too close to the latter.

Sam _was_ sorry. 

He didn’t know what he could say to make it sound genuine. He’d never wanted a drawn out fight, nor had he wanted to fight anyone who wasn’t, well, _Tony_ actually. And Thaddeus Ross too actually, because fuck that guy for even suggesting the Sokovia Accords. Yeah, he knew theoretically that a bunch of vigilantes running around with no accountability could turn into a problem, but he’d seen the government handle enough things disastrously not to trust them with information on the Avengers, and especially related younger groups. Lives could be put at risk if the identities of some of those kids got out, and they _would_ get out.

So fighting Rhodey hadn’t been on his bucket list.  
Hadn’t even been something he’d thought he’d ever have to do until that fateful day at the airport.

Sam didn’t regret fighting for what he believed in, and he guessed that Rhodey probably wouldn’t either, but it still hurt to see people injured, possibly permanently maimed or even killed, especially when they were fundamentally good people. Rhodey didn’t deserve this.

(Just like Riley hadn’t deserved this.)

Rhodey awoke slowly, and the ward burst into excited murmurs almost immediately. Tony’s voice, half boisterous and half grief stricken, boomed from around the corner, and Sam’s breath shuddered out of him.

_He’s made it._ _  
_ _[ Relief. ]_ _  
_ _[ Heartache. ]_

Sam waited until Tony dashed to the adjoining room to get Rhodey some water, and snuck in. He looked at the other man’s face, unusually drawn and gray, clearly tired and in pain, and it felt like a dam breaking within him. Rhodey didn’t say a word, warily allowing Sam to approach.

“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered. “I tried to catch you, but the grappling hook missed and… I wish you hadn’t gotten caught up in this. I’m so **sorry**.” Tears shone in his eyes, and his throat closed up. Rhodey remained silent.

Sam exhaled harshly once, twice, and then closed his eyes, trembling. “I hope you recover quickly, with minimal pain.” _I can’t go back on my beliefs, but I believe you’re a good man,_ he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the voice to do so. Footsteps approached, and his head jerked back up in panic. “Sorry. Please be okay.” The words tumbled out of him as he retreated.

He made it as far as the doorway before his eyes locked with Tony’s. Instantly, the latter’s gaze hardened, rage splintering through his eyes. Sam probably would have gotten beaten to death (maybe even let it happen), but Rhodey called out to Tony, breaking his stare, and in an instant, Sam disappeared. Down two flights of steps, out an emergency exit door that didn’t have an alarm, and back into the world. He knew Tony would send a suit to track him down soon. He’d end up in a high security prison facility somewhere, or worse, as a corpse in some alley, but he’d done what he needed to do.

* * *

Many years later, when the Avengers were reunited once again under extreme circumstances, and Tony and Steve were too busy posturing and grumbling, Rhodey came over and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he said with a smile, “for trying to save me back then. I don’t think this reunion could have happened otherwise.”

“It didn’t _work_ though,” Sam grimaced, gesturing at Rhodey’s leg, now almost permanently encased in a mechanical exoskeleton.

“It works better than ever, don’t fuss.”

Clint broke the tension with a whine. “Are you kids done? Come on, let’s go beat up some bad guys!” Suddenly, it was like being thrown back ten years in the past, cold shoulder melting into tentative grins.

Steve stood up straighter (if that was even possible) and spoke. “Alright team, we’ve done this before. You remember the drill. Take out aerial targets, then prioritize keeping everything away from civilians, and--”

**“HULK SMASH!”**

...And that was that!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are loved, as usual, and while I can't guarantee that plot bunny ideas will be written, I'm always looking for inspiration. I really want to get my writing mojo back so I can continue my WIPs and finally complete those FTH pieces. Soon, I hope! Stay well <3


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